is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
