Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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