I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
