well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
