i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
