I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
