After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
