Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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