dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
