We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
