I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
