I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
