2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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