is your mom at the bar?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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