The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
