You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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