I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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