remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
