maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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