Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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