Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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