I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
