Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Floor bacon is actually really good
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
