Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
