Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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