I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
