I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
