Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
