I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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