im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
