Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
