AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
