Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
