I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I want to have your abortion
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize