Don't you send me to vm
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
