So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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