Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
