Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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