I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
