Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
