she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
