Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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