The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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