He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
