After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
