I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
