Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
