he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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