I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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