At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
