your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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