im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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