is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize