she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
