I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
