brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
