Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize