The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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