I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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