"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
