What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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