i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
