is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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