you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize