Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
