i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
