youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
