I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
