maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
