Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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