If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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