Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
