WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's blow job season.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
