Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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